1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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