it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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