Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
