He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
