Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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