white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
