everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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