Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
