Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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