perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
