You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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