So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize