You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
