My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
