dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
