You're completely useless in the revolution.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
