Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
