Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
