69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
