nut hugger
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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