youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
