So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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