So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
