I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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