I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
