FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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