I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
