Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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