Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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