Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
