when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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