he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
