here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
