My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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