First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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