time to smoke my breakfast
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
