so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
