Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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