I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
