So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
