You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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