i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
