I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
