please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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