I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
