so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
