new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
