i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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