Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
