woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
